I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
