I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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