She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
