I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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