Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
