Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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