yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize