There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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