I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
