I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
