So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
