after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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