Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
