Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
