Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
