we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
