she looked like the before picture.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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