Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am available for nakedness
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
