my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
