If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Randomize
