The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
