What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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