I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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