ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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