I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
