imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
