she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
