she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
