We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
