can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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