I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
