I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
