Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think my moral compass just broke
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
