are you still at the devil's house?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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