Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
