God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize