there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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