Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
