if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ttyl tear gas
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize