he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
