HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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