You just made me feel so damn special
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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