that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
