he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
