you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
