Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ladies don't puke and tell
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
