is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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