There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
