i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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