somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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