You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
