I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
