The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
