come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
