The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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