i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize