she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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