Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
