You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
