Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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