What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
