This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
