Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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