when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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