I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
