these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
