I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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