If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
