we're blogging at a bar
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
