ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
