Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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